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(NC-17)Linux性爱体位宝典
声明:棠棣不建议未成年人士阅读此文。请在继续阅读下面内容之前,确认您已经成年:)
关于Linux与性,Linux之父Linus Torvalds曾一语惊人,Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free.而事实上作为广大Linux爱好者的Geek们并没有割裂Linux与性的关系,他们别出心裁地用Linux性爱体位的方式介绍了开源用户与Linux亲密接触的开源“性爱宝典”(Kama Sutra)。
Position 1 – Patching the Kernel

The female kneels facing the male and applies her mouth to his organ, giving him oral gratification. Should be repeated as often as possible for best results.
Position 2 – Backend Arch

The male lays on his back. The female faces away from him and lowers herself onto his prong, achieving penetration. She arches backwards and pumps her hips up and down.
Position 3 – Downloading the Drivers

The female lies supine and the male grasps her legs, lifting her lower body up and angling it downward. Spreading her legs, he inserts himself into her from behind and thrusts until downloading is complete.
Position 4 – Mounting the Hard Disk

The male lays on his back and the female faces him and mounts his hard member, then rides it till it becomes floppy.
Position 5 – Congress of the GNU

The male approaches the crouching female from the rear. He inserts himself into her, and while they unite, she places one or both hands on the floor for added stability.
Position 6 – Spanning-Tree Protocol Posture

The male stands upright and supports the female as she wraps her legs around him. He holds her under the legs, supporting her weight while their data path remains active.
Position 7 – Embedding the Stack

The female reclines on her back with legs spread. The male kneels between her legs and leans forward, embedding himself in her.
Position 8 – 01000101 = 45 = 69

The classic 69 position, in which both partners give and receive oral gratification simultaneously, creating a nonhierarchical loop. May be performed in hex, binary, or decimal, according to your preference.
Position 9 – Forking the Code

The partners face one another, seated, legs extended. They join at the root, uniting their organs of procreation, then lean their upper bodies away from each other, resting weight on their hands.
Position 10 – Loading the Queue

The male stands behind the female as she bends over and extends one leg backward, resting her weight on one or both hands. He holds her body in alignment while executing his install.
Position 11 – Partitioning the Drive

The female lays on her side with legs parted. The male lifts her upper leg and, spreading them apart, inserts himself. During sex, he should make sure that her legs do not overlap.
Position 12 – Piercing the Firewall

The partners stand facing each other. The female raises one foot and the male grasps and holds her upraised leg while breaching the gates of her yoni.
当然本着Geek们不进行性取向歧视的原则,你也可以找到对应的Lesbian Linux Sex Positions和Gay Linux Sex Positions。
[PDF]Linux Sex Positions(Linux性爱体位)


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June 26th, 2008 00:31
符合Blog名称的文章出现了…
June 26th, 2008 03:47
这个比较另类!
June 26th, 2008 09:38
这才叫名副其实…哈哈哈哈哈
June 26th, 2008 11:00
期待有一个幽默的译文版本
June 26th, 2008 14:56
不是一般的强,这样也可以,厉害!
June 26th, 2008 15:03
狂汗!强悍
July 29th, 2008 11:18
赞赞,太赞了!
June 25th, 2011 10:31
够YD的……